


remember when you taught me fate? (said it’d be worth the wait).

by flustraaa



Series: never judge a book by its cover [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood has PTSD, Comforting Magnus Bane, Deaf Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Famous Magnus Bane, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Law Student Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus is such a good boyfriend, Memento mori, alec has a tattoo, they make out a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 12:17:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19723528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa
Summary: alec never told magnus about that tattoo. and as always, magnus loves learning new things about the love of his life.





	remember when you taught me fate? (said it’d be worth the wait).

**Author's Note:**

> idk if now would be a good time to let yall know im ace so pls don’t come @ me for the opening

They’re watching a movie and Magnus is melted into Alec’s side, the smell of pine and vanilla suffocating him in all the right ways. And then, something seems to click internally in his boyfriend. 

Cerulean blue eyes meet his gaze, two fingers pulling his chin up to join their lips and Magnus is drowning in the feeling of soft lips and warm skin. Kisses become more desperate and lustful, while he maintains a gentle quality that Alec always exhibits when he’s with Magnus.

He’s not sure what happens from one moment to the next, except for the fact that Alec now straddles his waist, slipping warm hands under his shirt, breaths quickening as the kisses had a short while ago. 

He pauses, eyes piercing Magnus’s very soul, a silent message that asks if he’s completely okay with what’s happening. 

Magnus would have to be out of his mind to not be basking in every second of Alexander Lightwood. He nods, saying  _ ‘yes’ _ very clearly, making sure Alec understands that they are on the same page. 

It takes milliseconds—if that—for Magnus to sink down into the mattress and under his boyfriends body as Alec presses his teeth into the soft flesh of Magnus’s neck, bruises being left in his wake. 

And despite himself, Magnus moans—not that Alec was aware.  _ Virgin his left elbow _ . 

He can feel Alec’s own breaths hitching as they roll over, slipping Magnus shirt off for a brief second before their lips reattach and they flip over once again. Magnus runs his fingers up Alec’s shirt, relishing the feel of warm sun-tanned skin beneath. He graces his fingers up the remainder of Alec’s back and moves to brush the base of his skull before Alec intakes a sharp gasp, ripping away from Magnus to sit at the foot of the bed. 

His eyes glaze over, detached to a startling degree before his left hand grips the sheets of Magnus’s bed. 

“Alexander?” His voice is shaky and he frustration well up in his stomach-  _ this is not the time to think about yourself, Magnus. _

Alec’s hand slips from the nape of his neck to the divot of his ribs- a position he always seems to retreat to in times of stress. 

His breaths are coming out in harsh rasps and it’s clear by the way he grips the sheets that he’s trying to get ahold of himself before it turns into a full blown panic attack. 

“I’m sorry,” he wheezes—as if knowing Magnus called for him—eyes still glassy, “I-I’m sorry.” 

Magnus shakes his head, reaching a gentle hand out before retreating. Alec takes in one final huffing breath, trying to swallow and it’s then that Magnus realises water might be good. He slips off the bed, filling up the bright yellow  _ Beauty and the Beast _ kids’ cup from his cabinet with water before holding it out to Alec. 

Alec reaches--shaking an obscene amount--for it but Magnus pulls back, holding the straw in place for Alec to sip. 

“I’m sorry,” Alec repeats after a few moments, pinching the skin on the back of his hand to ground himself, before going on, refusing to meet Magnus’ eyes, “I um-I wanna--” 

He gestures vaguely, but Magnus immediately understands the meaning. The implied _ I want to be here--with you--be intimate with you _ . 

“I—uh—it’ll...” Alec is hardly making sense, and whether it’s because he can’t hear himself or because he genuinely can’t collect his thoughts, Magnus isn’t fully sure—until Alec sits, twisting to face Magnus.

He takes ahold the cup, still shaking before setting it on the floor by Magnus’s bed. He takes a deep breath, taking Magnus hand in his, staring at it for a long moment before turning his back to face Magnus. 

“You can—just—just look under the hair at the base.” 

Now, shaking as well, Magnus lifts the short strands of hair,stopping when he winces; an angry scar runs from the top of his spine to the middle of his ears, forking across the top and bottom. 

“I shouldn’t be alive— I don’t know how I am—” The back of Alec’s hand is raw from his fingers relentless pinching. “I guess I’m lucky? But I’m deaf for it now--which- y’know. Sucks.” 

Magnus lets out a chuckle, though it’s more mirthless and sorrowful than intended. Alec’s hand finds its way back to the same spot on his ribs as he lets out a sigh. Slowly, he returns to his original postition, sending him a half smile, but his eyes follow Magnus’s gaze to where Alec’s hand cups his ribcage. 

“Oh.” It’s more of a silent thought, one Magnus isn’t sure Alec knows left his lips in the first place. He begins to tug at the hem of his NYU shirt. “You already know about the chest one— but I have a  _ memento mori _ ...” he trails off fumbling through the motions with shaking hands before Magnus reaches foreword, pausing for approval. Once he gains it, he tenderly pull the shirt off, eyes trailing to Alec’s ribcage before settling on the black typewriter font. 

“ _ Memento mori _ ?” Magnus asks. “I’m not as well versed in Latin.” 

Alec blinks, once twice, before half stumbling to his bag pulling out his notebook before settling back down. 

“I’m—my thoughts are—I can’t understand big phrases right now.” 

Magnus only nods, scrawling down his question, watching Alec’s eyes flutter over the writing once, twice, three times before he nods in understanding. 

“Remember your mortality, or remember death,” he quotes softly, hand pressed to his chest. “After it happened, it’s kind of how I grounded myself— that and running—but the latter tends to be more disastrous.” 

_ Amen to that _ , Magnus thinks. 

Alec’s eyes are still unfocused, and Magnus picks up the notebook once more.  _ Movie... and relax?  _

“Yeah,” Alec breathes, the remaining tension seeping out at once. “That sounds— yes. I’m sorry.” 

He shuffles up, resting his head against Magnus’s chest before sinking into the wall behind. They turn on the first title, and it’s a few brief moments before gentle snuffles sound through the studio apartment. Magnus’s fingers thread through his boyfriend’s raven curls taking note of the quirk of Alec’s lips as he does so. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Magnus says gently, though it’s lost on deaf ears-- _ literally _ , “I love you, Alexander.” 


End file.
